Sasha Graham’s Tarot Card a Day Blog

Nine of Pentacles Tarot Card

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Prudence. Inheritance. Solitary wellbeing.

Why, if this isn’t one of my favorite cards in the deck! The woman pictured in the Nine of Pentacles quietly stands in her garden, a sparkling diamond. Quite content, she has wandered down from her family’s château. A careful look at the card will reveal that she is standing in a vineyard and the vineyard has probably been in her family for generations. The card signifies wealth, a simple enjoyment of the things around you and most importantly, the ability to be okay by yourself

How would this apply me, to my day? My family? Wine drinkers, yes. Wine makers, no. There was once immense wealth on my great grandmother’s side but was squandered and mismanaged many years ago. No material wealth remains for me except a manuscript she left of her life. Hundreds of pages including a description of the evening she was presented to the Queen of England. Photos remain of a Victorian household, a few beautiful heirlooms and many paintings and drawings of her life. She was a consummate artist. She, unfortunately, made great errors of judgment when it came to husbands and she was known to be quite cold.

My grandmother followed in her footsteps. She was raised to be a well off young woman and sent to finishing school in London. She married well to her first husband, raising her three children, my mother in luxury.  Her first husband died of heart attack and she married a wealthy man for security. The only catch was, he never spend any of it on her.

My mother, resentful of the wealth she grew up with rebelled, embracing a life of poverty and struggle. There was never enough money as we were growing up.

What are the lessons of my inheritance and what am I passing on to my daughter? I believe I was prudent in my marriage. My husband and I are happy and we’ve been together nearly fifteen years. We began with no money in the bank when we met. We never received financial help from our families. We now have an apartment in New York City, a large country house and a daughter in private school. Still, I find myself frightened to spend money, feel guilty, especially when it comes to buying things for myself. Sometimes, I still feel like the poor kid at school.

I spent the afternoon just like a well off young mother. I picked my daughter up from her exclusive private nursery school, we lingered in a bookstore, went shopping for a Christmas dress for her, ran into another mom friend, shopped with her, went home, wrote and addressed sixty Christmas cards, prepared dinner and fell into bed. I only wished I could stand in my garden but, alas, my garden is buried underneath a foot of snow.

Was I the lady in The Nine of Pentacles? I think so. Certainly, I was left a legacy by those who came before me. They remind me that within me lay the potential for great wealth and tremendous creativity. Their misstep was lack to self-knowledge, self-sufficiency and warmth. I am determined to do better. I will do better. I’ve already done better. I think awareness is the first step. I teach my daughter that she is beautiful, inside and out. That she can be self-reliant. That she is worth more than the cost of her things around her but that her worth lay in who she is. The person she is. So, she may someday stand her garden one day in perfect contentment with her life. I urge you to take a look and consider what legacy was left for you? Have you leaned the lessons of those who’ve gone before? Are you repeating their mistakes or making strides to correct them? What are you passing on?

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